You've got so much love in you,

I'm finding that my current 'difficult' thing to deal with is loving others and not resorting to biting words and anger. I wish I could say that this isn't the case, but it is. And it's only an issue with my family.

My family are the connoisseurs of anger and arguing, it would seem. It's all I grew up around, and sometimes it seems like I can only respond in the same way. But today I read a verse that helped and greatly encouraged me; Proverbs 10:12. It says, "Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses."

When we react in anger or hatred, it only causes more problems. Instead, we need to hold our tongues. We need to obey, even when it seems ludicrous or unfair, because the Bible tells us to honor our parents. We need to respond with calm and quiet words. When we react with love, the way that Jesus would, it changes things. It changes perspectives and stops arguments before they can fester into full-on verbal brawls.

The key here is to actually think before we speak. To not let our emotions run wild, but to think instead how we can turn it around to honor our Father. If I could just stop arguing with my mother when it feels like she's just picking a fight, she can start to see how much of a change I truly am making in my life. And, hopefully, she can see Christ reflected in the things I do (or don't do!).

You have so much love in you. That's the way God wanted it to be! So why do we constantly let the hatred take over?

Let me think of how to word it.

So the original ten day fast got extended to two weeks. Like most people, when Pastor Jay brought up extending the fast, I just thought, "Aww. Man. Really?" And almost immediately after, I mentally kicked myself! I mean, why not? Why shouldn't I have extended the fast? My initial reluctance showed me just how much I let technology rule my life, so I knew I had to extend it! And I am so glad that I chose to go for the full two weeks. I think that in those two weeks, God worked some awesome things into my life and my heart. It was amazing how close I became to Him. And all it took was for me to shut off the distractions and intentionally spend time with God.

I also realized just how much I was running from God, even though I thought I was running towards Him. It's in our nature (mine, especially) to avoid confrontation, especially with God, when we know that what God has to say will likely convict us and push us to be better. So we put these constant distractions in our lives to avoid His gentle conviction. In essence, we're kindof pansies!

I also noticed just how much people worship television. That's right. We worship it. We literally plan out when we're going to sit down to watch our favorite programs. What if we did the same for God? What would our lives be like if we intentionally pursued God at certain times everyday, for hour increments or more? I can guarantee we would see a huge change.

Overall, I came to several conclusions throughout this fast. Mostly that we need to purposely choose to pursue God. He doesn't just want us in between commercials or during the few minutes of silence before bed. He wants all of us, all of the time. I also concluded that I sort of like silence. I enjoy sitting in silence, with just me and my Father, letting Him speak to my heart. It's so much better than music, or tv, or any other sound.